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Showing posts from March, 2008

Dr Strangecow, or How to Stop Worrying and Learn to Love Soymilk

It's a simple process, really, and anyone can do it, given enough time. In my case, it only took 30 years. There are a number of steps, though, and the time spent in any one can vary widely from person to person, I imagine.

First, after beeing weened from human milk, switch to good, honest, all-American, pasteurized, homogenized Whole Milk. Even the very name echoes just how Whole-some it is. Enjoy how it's thick, rich texture integrates chocolate syrup with ease. Drink up for many years.

One day, likey coinciding with a sudden heightend awareness of health issues due to an elder relative, switch to 2%. Revel in its healthfulness! It's barely distinguishable from Whole Milk, especially given the circumstances. Enjoy it on the new bran-a-licious cereal you're trying. Before long, you'll grow used to the different colored trim on the jug, and it will seem just as good as that thick, evil old stuff.

Eventually, you'll fall for and live with a non-fan of milk, someone…